


Alone

by MistressOfCobblepot



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Death, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Fingerfucking, Fluff and Smut, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Public Sex, Sexual Content, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 17:02:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10768593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressOfCobblepot/pseuds/MistressOfCobblepot
Summary: You are on your own, surviving until you come across a man with a wired bat in his hand.





	1. Survival

Sometimes you wondered why you even existed. What was the point if there was no one there to see you? If there was no one around to discover all the warmth and love that was kept away in your heart? If there was no one there to comfort you as tears fell down your cheeks in an never ending circle. Tears were supposed to be cleansing, so why did they devour your heart into darkness? What was the point of tears if they only darkened your soul? 

The undead was walking the earth now, cleansing it from humanity, consuming all emotions contained in the world as they feasted on the human flesh. 

Alone. 

For so long you had been alone, surviving every day but not really living. You would never live again, you couldn’t even remember how it was like to live. There was nothing left but survival in this crumbling world. 

You stared into the crackling fire, your once sparkling eyes filled with nothing but cold emptiness. Maybe this was the day? The day when you finally took that last leap into the everlasting darkness? But deep down you knew that wasn’t happening. It never did. Somehow, there was a part of you that never stopped fighting for survival, even if you had nothing to live for anymore. 

There was a town not far away, abandoned long ago by its citizens. Not even the undead occupied it at the moment and you found a moment of silence there, a moment to catch your breath. Scavenging through the town’s store, you even got so lucky to find a soda behind one of the shelves, unnoticed by previous human’s walking through town. 

Sitting down on a chair outside the store, you popped open the soda and leaned back, your legs resting on a small table in front of you. Closing your eyes, you let the silence fill every inch of you. 

It didn’t take long until you heard a sound you hadn’t heard in ages and you snapped your eyes opened to find a small caravan of trucks and cars drive into town. It stopped right in front of you and your pulse quickened, blood rushing through your veins. The was a flickering moment you thought about running, but you didn’t know how these people would respond to that. One thing you knew for sure, there was still bad people in this world. It was just harder to tell them apart from the good ones. Who was to decide that you weren’t the bad one? Doesn’t everyone justice their actions by saying they only protected themselves from other people wanting to hurt them? 

The car door of the front truck opened. Out hopped a man with black, slick back hair and a salt and pepper beard. The black leather jacket and black jeans fitted him nicely around his lean frame. 

“Well, what do we have here?” The man twirled a wired bat in his right hand, the sight of blood dripping from it send a chill through you. Still, you couldn’t know if he was the bad guy or the good. Perhaps he had just defended himself and his group? For all you knew, that blood could belong to the undead. So why presume the worst? Why give up on humanity before it even had a chance to prove itself? 

_Bide your time and wait. Breath in and out. Slowly._

“Enjoying your fucking soda, doll? You do fucking know the world ended, right?” He moved closer, examining you with brown eyes, a big grin on his lips. 

“Yeah, I know. It was kind of hard to miss,” you snapped and gave him a once over. The man chuckled loudly at that. 

“You’re feisty. I like that.” He took a seat on a chair across from you, setting down the bat between his legs. You watched him carefully as you let your legs slide of the table, straightened your posture, ready to run just in case. 

“I’m Negan, by the way,” he said with a self-assured smirk, raising his eyebrows in a silent question. 

“Y/N,” you replied cautiously and glanced over at the caravan. No movements. You figured this Negan guy was the leader, since no one else had made a sound yet. 

“Are you alone?” 

His question turned your attention back to him and you hesitated a second before answering;

“Yes.” 

“Since when?” 

“Since the beginning.” 

Negan stared at you, “Really?! That’s a fucking long time without any human contact. And you managed to survive on your fucking own?!” He scrutinised your womanly curves, a smile tugging on his lips. “Damn! I could sure as hell have use for a girl like you in my group.” 

He paused while continuing taking in your body and it wasn’t leaving you unaffected as a heat flushed your face.  

Negan noticed it and grinned. Yeah, he still fucking got it. Even in a screwed up world like this. “Wanna come with us? We have a safe place, a home. A sanctuary you might like to call it.” 

Now it was your time to study him as a million thoughts ran through your head. Wasn’t this what you wanted all along? To have a chance to live again without having to fight for your survival every single day out here? Without much more thought, you nodded shortly and Negan smiled brightly in return. 

“Freaking fucking fantastic!” 

You followed him to the truck and jumped up in the passenger seat. An alarm started ticking deep inside your mind as the caravan drove off, but you ignored it. Because maybe there was someone in this sanctuary who could discover your warmth and your love? Someone who would comfort you when your tears threaten to drown you into darkness. 

You might not know if this Negan was good or bad but at least you wouldn’t be alone anymore. 

Never again.


	2. Loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You arrive at the Sanctuary and find yourself dealing with things you never signed up for.

The arrival to Negan’s so called Sanctuary was a hailstorm of mixed feelings. While most people there seemed to be fine with you, other’s scrutinised your appearance with a worried look in their eyes as you hopped out of the truck. Not that you blamed them, though. They’ve lived together for so long in their little community, and here you were, an unknown young woman, stepping into their territory.  


A tall, lean man approached Negan as you rounded the hood of the car, a wide smile underneath his mustache as his gaze fell upon you. 

“And who is this?” he asked, a slight interest in his voice. 

“Simon, this is Y/N.” Negan motioned towards you and you gave the man a short nod, crossed your arms as you looked away and gazed over the crowd of people before turning your eyes to the ground. You swallowed hard, trying to get rid of that nervous lump in your throat. But it refused to let go, and you felt a growing tightness of your chest. 

The man called Simon chuckled as he studied you, “Not very talkative, hey?”

You didn’t answer, only glanced up at him before fluttering your gaze to the ground again. 

“Give her a fucking break. She’s survived on her own this whole fucking time,” Negan said as he sauntered closer to Simon. 

There was a surprised expression on Simon’s face as he skimmed your appearance, “Really? This petite and fragile little thing?” 

A flash of anger washed over you and you shot him a furious glare, “I’m not so fragile as I look and I’m certainly not a thing!” you snarled with gritted teeth and approached him with firm steps. Simon looked even more surprised and Negan laughed loudly. 

“So fucking feisty! I like that!” he gruffed and his gaze fell to your ass, imagining all the things he could do with your body, “Yeah, I like that a lot…” 

Negan licked his bottom lip before taking a deep inhale, gathering his thoughts back to reality.

“She will be part of your group,” he said with a firm gaze at Simon. Turning around, you stared at Negan with wide and confused eyes. 

_Group? What group?_ Your gaze turned between the two men as they continued talking, your heart racing faster with each of their spoken words. 

Simon flashed Negan a grim look , “What?” he asked but regretted it when he saw the anger in Negan’s eyes. 

“You’re one man short, right Simon? After that little…incident yesterday.” 

_What incident?!_ you thought in panic and started regretting coming along to this so called Sanctuary. The situation felt more and more uncomfortable by the second. 

Simon only nodded and you could see the surrender in his hazel eyes. You started to realise just how much power this Negan held in his hands.

What the hell had you gotten yourself in to? 

  
* * *

  
It is strange how the things you hate is the things you end up missing when you don’t have them anymore. For you it was the loneliness. Living at the Sanctuary was an endless stream of interactions with people and at the end of the day, when you went back to your own little place, you could finally relax, close your eyes and let your body absorb the blissful silence. Yeah, you would never imagine missing the lonesomeness of the new world. But then again, you had forgotten how obnoxious and evil people could be, so not missing them wasn’t so surprising really.

And regarding this Negan guy, well…you figured out rather quickly that perhaps he wasn’t one of the good men left on earth. But his people seemed to worship him like a God, bowing and kneeling at his feet as they praised him. And he loved every second of it, you could see that in the satisfied expression on his face. You wondered though, if the people glorified him out of respect or fear?…

But he was resourceful, you’ll give him that. He saw the opportunities of this dying world and took it. He found a way to make living bearable. Not just fighting for survival every single day. No, he found a way to live in this world. Even if it was a cruel way of living. 

Being part of Simon’s group turned out to be a strange and regretful experience. You did so many wrong things you felt sick to the stomach at the end of the day. And you still cried. Every night those burning and drowning tears emerged, and trickled down your cheeks. You started to wonder if they would ever stop coming? Perhaps it was just a part of living now? To feel this sad and hopeless… 

There was another community that Simon’s group visited once a week, The Hilltop. Apparently there was a deal between the two communities. Give Negan your stuff or get wiped out. This wasn’t something you had signed up for. Killing people. But what could you really do about it? There was no standing up against Negan, there was only his rules or death to choose between. The idea of leaving the Sanctuary, to be alone again, sounded more appealing by the day. 

Negan always seemed to find an opportunity to talk to you, whether it was when you and the group came home from an assignment, or later in the day, when he would knock on your door. You always opened for him and let him in. What choice did you really have? Negan would smile that big grin of his, make some suggestive remarks as he talked about the day and then he would leave. Just like that and you found yourself wondering what the point of his visits were. The worst part of it all, was that his interest in you left a confused twirl of emotions inside of you. But that didn’t stop you from going forth with your plans. 

  
* * *

  
It was on a dark and rainy night you sneaked out of the small apartment that’s been given to you. Silently, you walked through the corridor and made it all the way outside to the fenced undead. Their moans and groans consumed every single particle in the air, covering whatever little sound your feet made on the ground and for once, you felt gratitude for their existence. At the end of the fence, you spotted the gate and moved over to hide at the corner of the fabric opposite the enclosure. Chewing your inner lip, you studied the guards and contemplated how you would get past them, well aware you might needed to use deadly force. 

“And where are you of to, girl?” a raspy voice murmured in your ear, and you jumped high and gasped as you twirled around to stare into Negan’s brown orbs. The angry glare you frightened wasn’t there, only a mischievous sparkle in his eyes as he grabbed your arms, pressed you against the hard wall. 

“I…” You bit your lip and turned your head away to avoid his piercing gaze with a redness blooming on your cheeks, the feeling of his lean body pressed against yours created a heat unexpected in the cold rain that already soaked your clothes. 

“You’re not fucking leaving me, are you?” he husked as one of his hands traced down the curves of your body. Your breathing hitched and you froze, closing your eyes, unable to speak as the heat rushed down between your legs. 

Oh God, if had been so long…so many years since someone touched you like this…

“We could have so much fun together, you and I.” Negan’s fingers played at the hem of your jeans, circling the button. “You wanna have some fucking good time with me, girl?” 

Feeling the aching wetness in your panties, you nodded with a flushed face before you had a chance to think about what it was you said yes to. 

Negan grunted, his hand rubbing your covered sex and you gasped at the sudden pleasure, bucking your hips against his hand.

“I need you to say it, doll,” he murmured in your ear. 

“Y-Yes,” you croaked and Negan’s self-certain chuckle sent a flood of shivers down your skin. 

“That’s my girl,” he praised and popped your button open, his fingers sliding inside your panties. 

_That’s my girl…_

Negan’s words echoed in your mind. Yes, you wanted to be his girl…

Your thoughts were interrupted when his fingers slipped inside your wet and tight, little pussy. Gasping, your eyes snapped open and you stared at his face; his eyes dark and glossed over, rain running down his cheeks and trickling from his salt and pepper beard. A moan fled your lips and you clutched desperately at his leather jacket when his fingers made slippery sounds as he started moving them in and out of you. 

“Oh, you fucking like that, huh?” he breathed in your ear as he leaned against the wall with his hand, supporting himself as he quickened his pace. 

“Yes!” you cried out, the sound of Negan’s heavy breathing aroused you further and you felt his lips curl into a smirk against your ear. 

Negan’s prominent erection pressed against his slacks, pulsing with the same beat as his fingers worked inside your now gaping hole. He stared at your wet face, soaked by the rain and at your parted lips that gasped for another fresh breath of air. Fuck, how he wanted to tear off your clothes and fuck you senseless against the wall…

“Oh, fuck!…” you moaned when he hit that sweet spot deep inside you over and over again, bringing you right over the edge and you came with a shuddering force, gushing and clenching around his fingers as your knees buckled underneath you. 

Negan chuckled and withdrew his fingers, sucking on them with a smirk on his lips as he studied your postorgasmic glowing face. Your head leaned against the wall, watching through half lidded eyes as he sucked off your juices, his wet hair plastered against his forehead and your cheeks burned in an even brighter red than before. 

“You fucking loved it, hmh girl?” he chuckled deeply and leaned over your smaller frame, his thumb gracing your lower lip as his brown eyes bore into yours, “There can be more if you want it. So fucking much more. But for that you need stay.” 

You felt his bulge against your belly, the size promising more pleasure than his fingers could give and you watched with a smirk as he winked at you before sauntering back to the buildings of the Sanctuary. 

There was a slight hesitation inside your gut before you followed in his path, your pulse beating a little harder with each step. 

_Yes, I want more. So much more_ , you thought without realising how fast you’ve become addicted to him.


	3. Togetherness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Negan are together. Could it be true love? And can it really last forever?

It was probably a bad idea from the start, but the more time that past, the harder it was to get rid of the addiction that was Negan. There was a way about him, something that pulled you in and there was no escaping the darkness surrounding him once you started drowning in his aura.  


But was it so bad, though? At least you didn’t cry anymore. And what chances was there to find love in this decaying world? That true, undying love everyone used to search for in the old world.

No, you should consider yourself lucky, even if you couldn’t say that you truly loved Negan. Maybe you would with time, but for now…well, for now, the two of you had a lot of fun, and life didn’t seem so utterly useless anymore.

  


***

“Morning,” Negan’s breath caressed your cheek as he curled his arm around your waist to nuzzle your neck, inhaling the fresh and sweet scent of your hair. Smiling, you moaned tiredly and giggled softly as his beard tickled the sensitive skin on your neck.

“Morning,” you replied softly and turned around in his embrace, gazing into his warm, brown eyes before you snuggled into the black curls on his firm chest. Negan pulled you closer to him, leaving kisses on the top of your head as his hand caressed your back. You listened to the sound of his steady heartbeat, something that always soothed your soul, and you sighed contently. Sometimes you wondered, though, how such a cruel and murderous man could be so gentle and loving?

Negan’s fingers trailed down your hips, his hand palming your ass and giving it a nice squeeze. A tingling warmth spread across your skin, and you moaned, your hand moving down to wrap around his semi hard cock. Lucky thing the two of you always slept naked. Negan groaned as you started stroking his dick in a slow pace, his hand finding the wet heat between your legs.

“Damn, girl…you’re always so fucking wet,” he grunted and started rubbing your sensitive clit with his fingertips. Gasping, your body jerked at his touch, and you moved your hips against his hand, trying to get as much pleasure out of it as you could.

“Only for you, Negan,” you whispered with a smirk and stroke firmer on his cock, causing a deep groan from the man.

“Now, how about you shut the hell up, and fuck me already,” you teased and nibbled his earlobe.

Negan let out a guttural growl as he swiftly pulled himself on top of you, pinning you against the mattress with a broad grin on his face.

“Feisty,” he snickered as he pushed your thighs up, holding them in place as he pressed his swollen cock into your tight cunt. The sweetest of moans escaped your lips as he slowly stretched you out, your hands gripping his waist tightly as he started thrusting into you in a slow and steady pace.

There was no rush. Not today. Not any day.  

Negan’s brown orbs bore into yours as he moved in and out of you, his thumb following the curve of your bottom lip before gently pressing his mouth against yours. The roughness of his beard scraped against your chin as you kissed him back, lips moving together in a dance that never wanted to end, heat percolating between two bodies melting into one.

Perhaps this was love after all?

It wasn’t long until his body tensed and he spilled himself inside of you with a low grunt, just as your own orgasm washed over you in a silent stream of moans fleeing your parted lips. Negan pressed his weight down on your quivering body with a soft chuckle, his nose nudging behind your ear as he buried his face into your neck. Smiling, you ran your fingers through his brown curls and let go of every conflicting thought in your head.

Yes, perhaps this was love…

  


***

You came into Negan’s life like a crackling fireball, igniting a fire within him he thought were lost a long time ago. Sure, he’d had his share of women since the dead started walking the earth, but none of them had been like you. None of them made him feel like you did. That maybe there was a chance for some sort of normal life in this new world. A chance for a family…children…

But of course, Negan should have learned by now he wasn’t made for love, at least not without consequences. The universe always seemed to find a way to take it away from him at the end. Perhaps it was the universe telling him he didn’t deserve love? And it was right, wasn’t it? The way he had cheated on his loved one…On Lucille..   

So why should now be any different? Why should he be allowed to keep it this time?

Those thoughts spun around inside his head as he watched the truck hit the brakes in front of him, and Simon leapt out of the passenger’s seat with a nervous and troubled expression on his face. Those thoughts twisted his gut when Simon helped you out of the car, the side of your neck and half your face covered in blood. Those thoughts made his vision blur as he rushed to your side, pushing Simon aside as he took you in his arms.  

“No no no…” he whispered as he slumped down on the ground with his arms wrapped protectively around your trembling form, his brown eyes shimmering with tears as his gaze fixed on the bite on your neck.  

A faint smile ghosted over your lips as you raised your hand to palm his bearded cheek, “Hey, don’t cry. It will be alright; you’ll be alright.”

Negan merely shook his head, for once he couldn’t muster a single word on his lips. All he felt was the pain gripping at his chest as he crumbled inside.

“Yes, baby. You will always be alright. You have to be, for me.” You looked pleadingly into his brown pools of sadness. “Promise me you’ll keep fighting for your survival, to find a way to love again.”

“I…,” Negan clenched his jaw, a decision forming in his mind. “I promise,” he vowed, but it was a lie. Perhaps you knew that. Perhaps you didn’t. That didn’t matter right now. What mattered now was him, loving you. That was everything that mattered in this world, at this precise moment.

“I need you to do something for me, baby.” Your voice trailed off into the distance, your gaze lingering on a faraway future that wasn’t yours anymore. “Please, don’t let this sickness take me. Don’t let me die like that.” You met his eyes now, eyes that were drowning in dark sorrow and tears started trickling down your cheeks. “I need you to end this now, Negan.”

Negan’s brown orbs widened from your words, his hands grasping your body tighter like he never wanted to let go, and he closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Please,” you begged in a trembling whisper as you watched his saddened face. “I just…I can’t end like that…I couldn’t bear to see the sadness in your eyes when you’ll sit by my side and watch me die a slow and agonising death.”

Your words couldn’t be truer, but you’ve never been more frightened in your entire life. Death was always lurking in the shadows, ready to cast its shadow over the unexpected victim, and you knew since the world ended, that the darkness would swallow you in the end. But not so soon, not now. Not when you found a place to call home. Not now when you finally weren’t alone anymore.

Negan took a trembling breath, gathering every strength left in him as his fingers dug into your flesh before forcing his eyes open.  You needed him, and he wasn’t about to fail you, but meeting your eyes was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. But not as hard as what he was about to do.

The gun never felt heavier in his hand, like it wanted to lift some of the weight that was breaking his heart into a million shards of darkness. His hand was shaking, his voice trembling, the look in his eyes lonesome. The glint revealed a world of darkness, dark, colourless eyes that mourned his despair…

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispered softly and pulled you close to him, pressing your head against his shoulder.

“I love you too, Negan,” you whispered back with a faint smile, staring into the black leather of his jacket as the gunshots cracked into the air as loud as thunder but without the raw power of a storm.

Then there was only darkness and silence.


End file.
